Manthano: I'm a Missionary

I’ve begun the realization that I am a missionary, right this moment.

I always have been a missionary, yet my understanding of this truth is deeper than before. There’s a difference between professing that Jesus’ universal commission sends us all out, and allowing that knowledge to invigorate my attitude and interactions in all things.

I’m planning to receive training as a missionary next summer, which definitely kindles excitement and will lend practical credibility to such a claim… yet I still mean something more, unique and partly independent from my upcoming adventures in Zambia.

Friends tell me that God gifted me in multiple ways. When I saw my primary giftings being wisdom and teaching, I thought that a career in writing or editing (with volunteer ministry on the side) would best dispense insight to a mass audience. Now I see in my Spirit-renewed self characteristics such as apostleship to relate and share the Gospel with a variety of people, shepherding to offer sincere care and counsel for the Christian body, and faith for embracing experiences in which my utter need for God is exposed.

Put simply, I see in myself giftings for impacting souls and playing a direct, connective role in the heavenly kingdom. Rather than making a career from my own natural talents and intellectual contributions, I will personally encourage my brothers and sisters, so they can each advance the kingdom in a unique way.

It’s what I want to do. I can always write on the side, as I’ve been blessed to do even for the audience at Geeks Under Grace, and perhaps I’ll even be crafting novels in the eternal new heaven-earth. Serving spiritual needs is a more urgent calling, where I find the greatest reward and passion.

God seems to want me set apart to Him and for building up His bride. I’m going to step forward in faith - whether that means reluctantly adventuring abroad or ministering in the familiarity of my local community - and view each day as the Lord training me toward that end.

Manthano: Plant Friends

This is Barnabas, the Japanese Black Pine. His Greek name means "son of encouragement" and is based on the faithful companion who followed Paul. Brandon gave me a bonsai starter kit for my birthday, two years ago. From that packet of several seeds, Barnabas and his twin sister Ruth emerged from the earth.

Unfortunately, his Old Testament sibling did not survive long after, but Barnabas is nonetheless a resilient and encouraging (if awkwardly spindly) green poofball.

Here's Hoshiko, the Gardenia. Her Japanese name means "child of the star" and alludes to the Biblical Esther. She was green and beautiful with all her intricate leaves when I received her, as a two-year dating anniversary gift from Rachel. However, she's also a very sensitive plant. I watched lifeless brown spread across her branches even as my relationship came to a close, and my well-intentioned yet foolish attempts to nurture her only drowned her roots and deprived her of the sun. I don't know if her roots are rotted beyond recovery or not. Even if they are intact, she won't ever look the same. Rachel told me not to give up, though, so I will carefully water and wait.

I call her Chara, pronounced with the "char" as in burning. She's a really interesting red plant called a fire fern (actually from the woodsorrel genus). Her name comes from the Greek word for joy.

Less than ideal travel conditions and coldness left her with some holes and residue marring her leaves, but I find her to be awesome despite and through that weathering. She's much more adaptable, rotates her leaves to follow the sun, and twitches on occasion.
She blossomed prematurely because of the sudden warmth and sunlight after her sojourn - so that those flowers haven't grown any bigger since - but it's a very cool glimpse of spring. Even if flowers, leaves, and stems are all destroyed, her life is stored within bulbs under the soil, so that she can always regrow and even multiply.

Didasko: The God Who Labors with Men

I think much of our confusion - more, an inability to grasp anything tangible and personal - in regards to God’s sovereignty stems from falsehoods we believe about His character. Particularly, we’ve pitted His attributes into a war against one another, and those omni- traits tend to win out (in our minds) at the expense of what makes Him personal and interactive-- the living God known by Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

We worship and follow the same God who wrestled with Jacob until daybreak, allowing this mere human to take hold of Him and match His strength so that a tricky maneuver became necessary for victory. That’s not the abstract, excessively perfect god who skeptics mockingly try to conceive (and rightly reject). He’s the Almighty who is also Abba Father, stooping down into the dust to play with oblivious children.

Or, more practically for spiritual living, we should remember that we serve the God of Joshua. Following the victory of Jericho, Joshua acted on impulse to strike the city of Ai, unaware that one of his men stole from the Lord in the former battle. God let them go out without His direction, and because of His wrath over their camp it ended in fear and shame. I don’t believe this was God being passive-aggressive, but rather patiently waiting and respecting our agency as creatures in His image.

As soon as they listen to their God, He tells the Israelites to get up, remove the sin, and engage in battle through His strategy. There’s actually indication that He entrusts Joshua to work out much of the plan’s detail (beyond that there will be an ambush from behind the city), and what I find most beautiful is how He weaves and redeems their failure into this new victory (they pretend to flee, provoking the enemy to leave their city undefended). At the battle’s turning point, God directs Joshua to hold out His javelin, which times perfectly with His ambushing army taking the city… giving God all the due glory, yet inviting humans to work by His side.

I don’t know the philosophical answers for determinism and predestination, and I wonder if we are never supposed to know. I just see a God in the Bible who blends human agency and sovereignty, remaining unchanging yet curiously reacting with emotion to the choices of His people. I think it’s of utmost importance that we deconstruct our ideas of a purely rationalistic, lofty divine mind… and continually rediscover the God who is exceedingly personal as He is powerful, expecting great things to happen for His Name through us as we interact beside Him.

Manthano: Dreaming Dreams

I dreamed that I made an account with Overland Missions, and once I did, I saw huge contributions on it which added up to 7,000 dollars-- more than enough for my AMT and airfare.

Taylor Ewing gave me 5,000 in the dream. Other people contributed in the hundreds and I think one for a thousand. They offered encouraging notes, and I can't quite recall the names of the others (they were unfamiliar to me other than Taylor) but they were were vivid at the time and somehow are known in our church family.

I was at Clovis Christian as I saw my account on my phone, and for some reason many people of my church family were present, and there for me. They now knew about the account existing, and an older woman confirmed she knew the name of a man on the list... but I don't think anyone knew just how much money had already been provided now.

So I want to stand up and tell them, that I think it's all covered and maybe even them some!!! But some people I don't know/can't all see move up to the stage and begin a worship song. I can't recognize the words, but I think they're saying "glory to God", so I join in and sing my whole heart. The worship leaders seem to be Hispanic, people I've never seen before, and the young woman leading them casts out her hand, causing the congregation in a cone in front of her to sway and fall back. I know it's something I'm usually very uncomfortable with, but in that moment as I fell on my knees I had peace and knew I was overwhelmed only by the Holy Spirit.

Then once the worship service ends, I see everyone is already leaving and scattered. I realize I WANT and NEED to tell them how the Lord has provided and the journey I was considering is imminent reality God is leading me into. I find Sean and Brian Duffy, and I'm just starting to tell them, and then I suddenly wake up.

And then I think about it. I remember I asked God to confirm if I should go, even through giving me a dream. I realize I have the same want and need today, not only for that promised financial provision but for how God spiritually brought me out of broken bankruptcy into a relationship of such riches and redemption. I reflect on how Overland Missions can be an opportunity to tell my story, and become connected with more of Christ's Church (maybe even with an expedition in South America), and to become more acclimated to the seemingly uncomfortable work of the Holy Spirit, and just to go forward in faith even if my account isn't literally donated all the way on the first day... since I now know God gave this adventure into my hands, and pursuing it will be an adventure on its own of growing trust and new friendship.

Apologia: My Creationism is Evolving

My view on this divisive subject is adapting. In many ways, I see ambiguity where I once thought the evidence gave certainty. In a different manner, I feel more confident in my creationist stance, as I shift my footing to more selective grounds for my argument. In all of this, I’m learning that specific positions aren’t the critical matter to faith I once believed them to be… yet I’m even more convinced this is a discussion the Church needs to initiate with humility and tact.

Let me start from the beginning: in high school, evolutionary theory played a key part in my skepticism. This isn’t because any mention of natural selection must stand opposed to Christian belief-- that is a false dichotomy, and I knew even then that many people reconciled the two in their worldview (guided, theistic evolution). Rather, what made evolution significant was the broader intellectual challenge behind it; is believing in a Creator necessary if we solved the miracle of complex life, and can Christians respond in a reasonable way?

Manthano: Counting it Chara

For the first time since the breakup, I listened to - and sang my heart out with - my love song playlist. I’ve been far better since my previous manthano post, and I think I’m ready to write the beginning of what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown through this twist of plot and change of chapter.

See, where I left off in my last post was that most crushing note of sorrow-- that I lost the connection I had with Rachel, for knowing and loving her with the same depth. I wanted to somehow reset and go back, no matter how irrational. For the first four or five days, I would wake up re-realizing our relationships end, in the same way that you emerge from sleep on vacation and are surprised to be in a different bed.

God carried me through that most daunting portion of the trial, before even a week had passed... even though I had expected to be paralyzed in mourning for a month at minimum. Actually, sincere grieving was the agent He used to rapidly heal me, and is no less miraculous in light of how I hardened myself against rejection in the past. I am spartan with a tightly closed heart no longer.

Didasko: Awkward Heresy Moment

First, I really respect my history professor, and I’ve enjoyed hearing the critical secular perspective on the story of the early church. That said, when explaining the heresy of Arianism, something unfortunate happened.

“Arianism is the belief that Jesus had a human side. The Church did not like this because they say Jesus is God, so they established the Trinity.”

Oops. That would be the opposite heretical doctrine, Docetism, stating that Jesus’ humanity was an illusion and He was only divine.

My theology nerd senses were tingling, and I felt puzzled by the lack of puzzled faces from my Christian peers in the room. Isn’t this a major foundation orthodox Christian faith? However, I knew I needed to act carefully, lest I seem arrogant or cause discomfort for my teacher.

I waited until my teacher allowed room for questions, and then asked, “Isn’t there a little bit more to Arianism than that? I thought Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox Christians all agree that Jesus was both fully God and fully man.” Now, she responded in complete agreement, confirming that she already knew this information (though she miscommunicated it unknowingly), and it’s the idea that Jesus was only human and later became God that offended the Church.

Why didn’t she say that in the first place, then? What does this tell us about the effectiveness of doctrine?

Manthano: Good Mourning

Yesterday, Rachel and I agreed to break up after two years of romantic relationship. God is good, and His plan is for my good… and I really do mean that-- He’s prepared me for this trial through community and discipleship, and I’ve received profound compassion and encouragement in the 24 hours since.

Still, even with the best of terms for ending and a hopeful future beyond, the loss of that specific intimacy and promise is in itself terrible. Every part of it will be used, and I’d like to write about those lessons and blessings eventually… but for now I will simply lament. It’s Biblical, and will help me advance towards complete healing.

You do not have continue reading though, and that word of caution goes especially for ewe if you read this.

Manthano: Memoir of Skeptical Me

I wish to share my testimony of faith once again, and this time with certain subtleties in mind entailing my skepticism as well as my idealism.

The purpose is never to deliver an irrefutable argument for coercing the beliefs of others, but to accurately explain my own experience-- clarifying where either criticism or affirmation is due. If you - regardless of your background and convictions - are able to relate with some aspect of my journey and receive it as a challenge (as opposed to a cute story with a religious conversion as the cherry on top), then I have fulfilled my job faithfully.

Historia: Revolution and Romans

If I had lived during the time of the American Revolution, I would be a loyalist on the side of the British Empire.

It’s not that I prefer to side with the monarchy of Great Britain, nor do I lack pride for the achievements of my colonial underdog predecessors. Rather, my commitment to the Lord Christ and conviction from timeless Scripture are what compel me to confess- I would submit rather than rebel.

This would apparently make me a minority among the colonists. In the case of the Anglican church, there was an even split between those who revised their prayer books to read “Congress” instead of “King”, and the ardent others who chose to give up their ministry rather than go back on their vows of loyalty

Overwhelmingly for other denominations, Christianity seemed to clearly justify a divine right for resisting tyrants and abolishing the monarchy that so often failed for Israel. Sermons identified the colonies with the prophesied millennial kingdom of Christ, and the movement was seen as an extension of the Reformation’s attempts to purify His Church from political influence and authoritative hierarchy.

Add all of this theological rhetoric to the mounting public hostility against redcoats and King George III, and I can be sure of my fate for claiming God’s Word says otherwise. Neighbors would spread the word through town, and then a mob would drive me out of it with searing tar, feathers, and mocking laughter.

Of course, as it did happen, a war was fought and won on the side of the Americans. I believe God dispensed judgment as well as grace through this new independent nation. We have constitutional rights today which were not promised before, and our theological understanding of the church as it relates to the state is likely improved because of this movement. God works all things together for good… but that doesn’t excuse all things as good.

Consequently, I would still choose to repeat the clear instruction of the apostle Paul:

Logikos: Post Categories

There are now five different categories for my posts (with Logikos filling in for general blog updates), which I find important enough to include at the beginning of every post title. I describe the unique purpose for each below, using a nerdy metaphor of a fantasy kingdom supported by various agents.

1) Didasko - The Wizard

Didasko is a Greek verb for “teaching”. This should be no surprise if you know me, since I enjoy teaching and try to pass on theology and wisdom in all that I write. However, these particular posts will focus on the Bible, so that I am building upon the foundational teaching and examples found in the narrative of our personal God and His chosen people.

The Wizard keeps his vigil close to home, as a trusted advisor to the royal court. He scans through dusty libraries to find answers and performs scrying spells to detect subtle arcane threats. The Wizard’s discernment halts problems in the land before they arise, and causes policies of justice to trickle down and throughout the kingdom.

2) Historia - The Bard

Historia is also a Greek word, referring to an investigative study of the past. Again, this should be no surprise; I love history and plan to teach it. The Biblical story is our sufficient and authoritative foundation, yet the narrative of humanity also belongs to God, demonstrates His wrath paired with mercy, and provide rich detail for how the Church released in Acts is working in our world up until the time of Revelation.

The Bard is a constant wanderer, stopping only to trade tales with fellow travelers or share said stories in the form of an inspiring song at country inns. He maintains regular correspondence with the Wizard, so that Truth colors the prose of his performances. Whether the accounts originate from inside the kingdom or beyond, and regardless of what triumph or tragedy they carry, the Bard faithfully remembers and publicly recites in a way pointing back to the King of kings.

3) Philosophia - The Thief

Philosophia in ancient Greek means “love of wisdom”. Today it mainly involves tackling universal human problems through critical questioning and rational argument-- which curiously enough can (or can not) be based on religious propositions. In the same way Historia posts look at our human perspective through time rather than the Bible’s narrative, so too will these posts extract nuggets of Truth and redemptive analogies from other worldviews.

The Thief masterfully infiltrates neighboring kingdoms, living among their people for a time and and feeding surveillance back to her true countrymen. While she may sound malevolent, she is actually guided by altruistic intentions and a strict code of honor. The only treasures she steals are those that originally belonged to her kingdom, which this Thief immediately distributes back to the poor among them.

4) Apologia - The Knight

Apologia (Greek) when utilized by the early Christians came to mean a defense for faith and recommendation to those currently outside it. Modern apologists are known today for boldly debating God’s existence and the Bible’s integrity. My personal additions to these qualities will include testing beliefs, relating on a more personal level with outsiders, and how we live out Christian teaching in a tangible manner.

The Knight patrols between the kingdoms, being especially protective over the bridges connecting them. Though his allegiance is ultimately pledged to the King, he prudently crosses past political strife and military skirmishes, reserving his blade for dark monsters wherever they lurk. Citizens of the other kingdoms notice this impartial hero for his moral austerity and radiant charisma, and they cannot help but give praise to the Lord who is the Knight’s banner.

5) Manthano - The Steward

Manthano, a second verb and our fifth Greek word, means to learn in knowledge and practice. The ancient assumption was that true knowledge should always influence action, though today we are wary of abstract information which does no more than puff up. As I realize more of what it means to be the man God has made/is remaking me to be, I desire to chronicle what I discover for self-reflection and whatever transparent encouragement it offers to you.

The Steward remains at the heart of the kingdom, but the assumption that he is confined to the court could not be further from Truth. His practical responsibilities extend over the entire city, as he must carefully watch and actively lead its commerce, construction, and culture. He bears no sword and casts no spells… yet the Steward is the one privileged with preparing the King’s a home, through which glory shines far outward and the efforts of every other agent is given its complete expression.

---

I think I can work with these five.

Philosophia: Redemption Cubed

When we receive the mind-blowing opportunity to introduce other humans to our infinite and yet personal God, our first step is often to declare Him as the maker of heaven and earth. This is certainly true, and I will explore more of how relevant this Truth is in my next Apologia post. For now though, I wish to share an even more effective method for revealing Christ, even through beliefs which seem alien and opposed to Him… using the redemptive analogy.

Consider that when Yahweh (the trinity/Godhead) revealed Himself personally as Jesus (the Son/God in human flesh), His 33 years on Earth contained allusions or “shout-outs” to other heroes of deliverance in Jewish history. For example:

• “Jesus” as a Hebrew name is no different than “Joshua”, who led the Israelites against enemies that outnumbered and towered over them and into the homeland promised to them.
• His birth in Bethlehem, royal lineage, and homage from the wisemen connect our Lord with David, who unexpectedly rose to the throne and loved God with all of his heart (despite and through serious moral faults).
• Just as the prophet Elijah passed on authority and “a double-portion of his spirit” to his disciple Elisha as they part near the Jordan river, John the Baptist is privileged with immersing Christ in those waters, where the Holy Spirit descends upon Him.

There are many more parallels in the gospels and epistles. I will hold myself back from listing more of them, because the ultimate point is that God reveals Himself and His salvation through stories; the role-models of redemption become a reflection of the ultimate Redeemer.
Now, you might not find this concept surprising if you’re already familiar with sermons and Biblical study, in which case you’ve heard of prophecies and “types and shadows” between the Old Testament and New. However, there is a third dimension which brings this method of communicating Christ to an even more scandalous level, seen in the second half of Acts chapter 17.

Didasko: Reguarding Reconciliation

Reconciliation between ethnic groups is an inescapable theme of the Bible.

God’s promise to Abraham is that he would be the father of many gowy (nations/people), and that every people group on earth might be blessed through him. Generations pass from Isaac to Jacob to Moses, with ages beyond that following as Israel is ransomed out of Egypt and re-rescued by judges, governed under corrupt kings, and humbled through eras of foreign rule.

Granted, we do see the future family of God foreshadowed through Rahab, Ruth, and Jonah… yet the Lord’s presence is largely focused within a single Jewish nation. Another four centuries pass between what is a single page dividing our Old and New Testaments, and God is silent as the kingdom crumbles again and again. Has Yahweh finally given up on these stiff-necked sons of Adam?

Then Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Church all happen… and what follows is an explosion unraveling two millennia of segregation. Once, we watched whole cities put the sword as the just punishment for their sins, out of God’s jealous protection over Israel. Now we witness the true King who would rather die for His enemies than kill them, so they might be forgiven for their sins and adopted into Abraham’s lineage through a like-minded faith. We’re one unified body, in which ethnic identity (along with gender, socioeconomic status, age, and any other distinction whether of biology or culture) does not affect our worth and belonging.

This is the Good News, and despite how sappy or controversial I will sound for writing this, it does in fact cause significant change to our planet. That said, my question is “how does this affect our own world today?”.

Apologia: Confessions of a TheoloGEEKos

Sometimes... Christianity is just a bunch of nerds in a book club.

Of course, the book we cherish is no ordinary book, and the scope of our fellowship goes far deeper than trivia knowledge. Still, I feel like this descriptor is accurate for one aspect of the ekklesia-- an aspect which might go a long way towards helping us relate with the world around us.

The sacredness of our scriptures do not change the fact: we’re fellow humans with a peculiar fascination for a certain story, which we love to share and discuss and make jokes about.

I was reminded of this while I watched a classmate’s presentation on A Song of Ice and Fire (also known by the name of its first book, Game of Thrones). Personally, I chose against reading the series further; as much as I appreciated the innovative world and developed characters, I felt the fatalistic themes and sexual content were distasteful. You can imagine my surprise, then, when his stated reasons for enjoying the books and my logic for loving the Bible overlapped.

Manthano: To The Land I Will Show You

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” So Abram went, as the Lord had told him . . .

Genesis 12:1-4 (ESV)

When I was doubting God’s existence and didn’t think anyone could accept me for all that i am, Abraham was the most profound Biblical character for me (...other than but pointing to Jesus).

I was already quite familiar with his story, since my parents once paid me allowance for reading through the Bible. Genesis seemed like a natural place to start, and its rich narratives kept me interested even as a pre-adolescent reader.

The spiritual significance eluded me at the time, only to ambush me in the middle of high school through a certain youth volunteer seeking to know me. He described faith as not necessarily a function of the mind or heart, but a component of the will. Even with my reservations and resentments towards God as a burden, I could freely choose live in a way that acknowledged His being and faithfulness.

The Lord’s voice called me away from everything I’d known, on a step-by-step journey where I may not know the destination until my arrival. I could choose to stay, rationalizing the voice as my own thoughts or settling for the satisfaction of static sameness… or I could choose to go, denying my doubt and resisting my reluctance in every footfall.

i chose to follow.

Historia: Challenge Accepted

I’ve decided to prepare for and pursue a career in teaching history, and I’m learning that this is a subject where my Christian worldview will clash more than in any other.

In mathematics, there is always a formula, and in English, there’s themes, styles, and patterns. Science is chiefly concerned with observations and laws, while even philosophy for all its existential diversity can be broken down into logical structures of premises and conclusion.

History, however, is the narrative of humanity. It urgently demands action, though many are deaf to its voice. It is a story in which we take part, and how we contribute to the unfolding plot will of course be determined by what we believe about our origin, nature, and purpose.

Logikos: An Introduction

I have created something new-- hopefully not only this blog, but renewed growth and discipline through it. Summa Theologikos.

λογικός (Greek) - logikos

adjective

1. pertaining to speech or speaking

2. pertaining to reason or logic
1. spiritual, pertaining to the soul
2. agreeable to reason, following reason, reasonable, logical

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your λογικός worship.”

-Romans 12:1 (ESV)