Manthano: Counting it Chara

For the first time since the breakup, I listened to - and sang my heart out with - my love song playlist. I’ve been far better since my previous manthano post, and I think I’m ready to write the beginning of what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown through this twist of plot and change of chapter.

See, where I left off in my last post was that most crushing note of sorrow-- that I lost the connection I had with Rachel, for knowing and loving her with the same depth. I wanted to somehow reset and go back, no matter how irrational. For the first four or five days, I would wake up re-realizing our relationships end, in the same way that you emerge from sleep on vacation and are surprised to be in a different bed.

God carried me through that most daunting portion of the trial, before even a week had passed... even though I had expected to be paralyzed in mourning for a month at minimum. Actually, sincere grieving was the agent He used to rapidly heal me, and is no less miraculous in light of how I hardened myself against rejection in the past. I am spartan with a tightly closed heart no longer.

Didasko: Awkward Heresy Moment

First, I really respect my history professor, and I’ve enjoyed hearing the critical secular perspective on the story of the early church. That said, when explaining the heresy of Arianism, something unfortunate happened.

“Arianism is the belief that Jesus had a human side. The Church did not like this because they say Jesus is God, so they established the Trinity.”

Oops. That would be the opposite heretical doctrine, Docetism, stating that Jesus’ humanity was an illusion and He was only divine.

My theology nerd senses were tingling, and I felt puzzled by the lack of puzzled faces from my Christian peers in the room. Isn’t this a major foundation orthodox Christian faith? However, I knew I needed to act carefully, lest I seem arrogant or cause discomfort for my teacher.

I waited until my teacher allowed room for questions, and then asked, “Isn’t there a little bit more to Arianism than that? I thought Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox Christians all agree that Jesus was both fully God and fully man.” Now, she responded in complete agreement, confirming that she already knew this information (though she miscommunicated it unknowingly), and it’s the idea that Jesus was only human and later became God that offended the Church.

Why didn’t she say that in the first place, then? What does this tell us about the effectiveness of doctrine?

Manthano: Good Mourning

Yesterday, Rachel and I agreed to break up after two years of romantic relationship. God is good, and His plan is for my good… and I really do mean that-- He’s prepared me for this trial through community and discipleship, and I’ve received profound compassion and encouragement in the 24 hours since.

Still, even with the best of terms for ending and a hopeful future beyond, the loss of that specific intimacy and promise is in itself terrible. Every part of it will be used, and I’d like to write about those lessons and blessings eventually… but for now I will simply lament. It’s Biblical, and will help me advance towards complete healing.

You do not have continue reading though, and that word of caution goes especially for ewe if you read this.