Manthano: Plant Friends

This is Barnabas, the Japanese Black Pine. His Greek name means "son of encouragement" and is based on the faithful companion who followed Paul. Brandon gave me a bonsai starter kit for my birthday, two years ago. From that packet of several seeds, Barnabas and his twin sister Ruth emerged from the earth.

Unfortunately, his Old Testament sibling did not survive long after, but Barnabas is nonetheless a resilient and encouraging (if awkwardly spindly) green poofball.

Here's Hoshiko, the Gardenia. Her Japanese name means "child of the star" and alludes to the Biblical Esther. She was green and beautiful with all her intricate leaves when I received her, as a two-year dating anniversary gift from Rachel. However, she's also a very sensitive plant. I watched lifeless brown spread across her branches even as my relationship came to a close, and my well-intentioned yet foolish attempts to nurture her only drowned her roots and deprived her of the sun. I don't know if her roots are rotted beyond recovery or not. Even if they are intact, she won't ever look the same. Rachel told me not to give up, though, so I will carefully water and wait.

I call her Chara, pronounced with the "char" as in burning. She's a really interesting red plant called a fire fern (actually from the woodsorrel genus). Her name comes from the Greek word for joy.

Less than ideal travel conditions and coldness left her with some holes and residue marring her leaves, but I find her to be awesome despite and through that weathering. She's much more adaptable, rotates her leaves to follow the sun, and twitches on occasion.
She blossomed prematurely because of the sudden warmth and sunlight after her sojourn - so that those flowers haven't grown any bigger since - but it's a very cool glimpse of spring. Even if flowers, leaves, and stems are all destroyed, her life is stored within bulbs under the soil, so that she can always regrow and even multiply.

Didasko: The God Who Labors with Men

I think much of our confusion - more, an inability to grasp anything tangible and personal - in regards to God’s sovereignty stems from falsehoods we believe about His character. Particularly, we’ve pitted His attributes into a war against one another, and those omni- traits tend to win out (in our minds) at the expense of what makes Him personal and interactive-- the living God known by Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

We worship and follow the same God who wrestled with Jacob until daybreak, allowing this mere human to take hold of Him and match His strength so that a tricky maneuver became necessary for victory. That’s not the abstract, excessively perfect god who skeptics mockingly try to conceive (and rightly reject). He’s the Almighty who is also Abba Father, stooping down into the dust to play with oblivious children.

Or, more practically for spiritual living, we should remember that we serve the God of Joshua. Following the victory of Jericho, Joshua acted on impulse to strike the city of Ai, unaware that one of his men stole from the Lord in the former battle. God let them go out without His direction, and because of His wrath over their camp it ended in fear and shame. I don’t believe this was God being passive-aggressive, but rather patiently waiting and respecting our agency as creatures in His image.

As soon as they listen to their God, He tells the Israelites to get up, remove the sin, and engage in battle through His strategy. There’s actually indication that He entrusts Joshua to work out much of the plan’s detail (beyond that there will be an ambush from behind the city), and what I find most beautiful is how He weaves and redeems their failure into this new victory (they pretend to flee, provoking the enemy to leave their city undefended). At the battle’s turning point, God directs Joshua to hold out His javelin, which times perfectly with His ambushing army taking the city… giving God all the due glory, yet inviting humans to work by His side.

I don’t know the philosophical answers for determinism and predestination, and I wonder if we are never supposed to know. I just see a God in the Bible who blends human agency and sovereignty, remaining unchanging yet curiously reacting with emotion to the choices of His people. I think it’s of utmost importance that we deconstruct our ideas of a purely rationalistic, lofty divine mind… and continually rediscover the God who is exceedingly personal as He is powerful, expecting great things to happen for His Name through us as we interact beside Him.

Manthano: Dreaming Dreams

I dreamed that I made an account with Overland Missions, and once I did, I saw huge contributions on it which added up to 7,000 dollars-- more than enough for my AMT and airfare.

Taylor Ewing gave me 5,000 in the dream. Other people contributed in the hundreds and I think one for a thousand. They offered encouraging notes, and I can't quite recall the names of the others (they were unfamiliar to me other than Taylor) but they were were vivid at the time and somehow are known in our church family.

I was at Clovis Christian as I saw my account on my phone, and for some reason many people of my church family were present, and there for me. They now knew about the account existing, and an older woman confirmed she knew the name of a man on the list... but I don't think anyone knew just how much money had already been provided now.

So I want to stand up and tell them, that I think it's all covered and maybe even them some!!! But some people I don't know/can't all see move up to the stage and begin a worship song. I can't recognize the words, but I think they're saying "glory to God", so I join in and sing my whole heart. The worship leaders seem to be Hispanic, people I've never seen before, and the young woman leading them casts out her hand, causing the congregation in a cone in front of her to sway and fall back. I know it's something I'm usually very uncomfortable with, but in that moment as I fell on my knees I had peace and knew I was overwhelmed only by the Holy Spirit.

Then once the worship service ends, I see everyone is already leaving and scattered. I realize I WANT and NEED to tell them how the Lord has provided and the journey I was considering is imminent reality God is leading me into. I find Sean and Brian Duffy, and I'm just starting to tell them, and then I suddenly wake up.

And then I think about it. I remember I asked God to confirm if I should go, even through giving me a dream. I realize I have the same want and need today, not only for that promised financial provision but for how God spiritually brought me out of broken bankruptcy into a relationship of such riches and redemption. I reflect on how Overland Missions can be an opportunity to tell my story, and become connected with more of Christ's Church (maybe even with an expedition in South America), and to become more acclimated to the seemingly uncomfortable work of the Holy Spirit, and just to go forward in faith even if my account isn't literally donated all the way on the first day... since I now know God gave this adventure into my hands, and pursuing it will be an adventure on its own of growing trust and new friendship.

Apologia: My Creationism is Evolving

My view on this divisive subject is adapting. In many ways, I see ambiguity where I once thought the evidence gave certainty. In a different manner, I feel more confident in my creationist stance, as I shift my footing to more selective grounds for my argument. In all of this, I’m learning that specific positions aren’t the critical matter to faith I once believed them to be… yet I’m even more convinced this is a discussion the Church needs to initiate with humility and tact.

Let me start from the beginning: in high school, evolutionary theory played a key part in my skepticism. This isn’t because any mention of natural selection must stand opposed to Christian belief-- that is a false dichotomy, and I knew even then that many people reconciled the two in their worldview (guided, theistic evolution). Rather, what made evolution significant was the broader intellectual challenge behind it; is believing in a Creator necessary if we solved the miracle of complex life, and can Christians respond in a reasonable way?