Didasko: We're Both Wrong

Regarding what I've learned and wrestled with since this summer:

Saying "we're both right" could be a more positive spin on the same observations. Certainly, it would fit my preference for "yes and no" wisdom nuggets.

This time, however, my inner doubtful critic is prevailing over the diplomat-philosopher. I think our mutual illumination of inherent wrongness - differently expressed yet equally shared - is the most important insight eventually leading to positive things.

Some context: Though I chose against setting my alarm, I still managed to wake in time to attend yesterday's church staff meeting... and was very glad I did. Our "New City Catechism" video discussed the Ten Commandments and our inability to ever perfectly follow them, contrasted with Jesus' complete obedience in our place. Simple enough... but it sparked further conversation, and I even received a concrete answer to the question: are we as Christians still sinners?

Now, back to what I have to say to my teachers on the field:

You really were my teachers this summer; though I'm calling you "wrong" in this virtually private blog entry, my prayer is that the Lord is the one to guide and correct you in reality. I trust that He led me to be your student in all wisdom, and that honor is due for this unique opportunity to learn.

You claimed that you had a unique message (new creation/identity), which was the full gospel whereas you assumed that many of our churches had reduced it through guilt, complacency, and a "spirit of dead religion." I did not let offense (which you also call an evil spirit) take over my thinking, but tried to trust and consider your words. In fact, I genuinely wanted to. I had full confidence in God's leading to train with your organization, great respect for the supernatural signs following your ministry, and a serious determination to bring back any neglected aspect of the Gospel to my church family.

You said this is embracing the kingdom of heaven in its fullness (within our spirit) now, recognizing God's superiority over any influence of sin, and intuitively walking into the life of holiness Jesus bought for us. Who wouldn't want that?

...you didn't say very much about the kingdom of heaven consummated and eternally established. If you did, it was about the sensational events leading up to the end times. According to your book, this would be a revealing of our already-perfect spiritual likeness to Jesus, but you didn't say it was actually bringing anything new to our experience.

...you didn't take into account that part of our God's awesome might is not just to purge sin through His presence, but to work redemptively through mankind even while in a fallen state. You tried to emphasize His strength and minimize the presence of sin, but why do you even feel the need to artificially do that and box Him into our binary reasoning?

...you didn't clarify the means of holy living. Here we actually disagree the least: God gives us ability to escape temptation and live as slaves to righteousness. That said, it was only for a one-week class that you taught us Christian ethics of continually striving for excellence and crucifying sin... but then for the rest of 3 months you taught that this is instant and intuitive, only requiring that we realize our sinless spiritual identity.

You - who I love and value - have still taught some very strange things. You nullified the need for future fulfillment and a King who wipes away tears by falsely claiming heaven as your present experience. You supposedly identify the Spirit's sanctification over the body's shortcomings... yet in bitter irony, you pedestal your mind's attitude as what sets you apart from other believers and enables holy living. You confused confidence in our justified position and empowered indwelling with decrease of ourselves and magnification of our God leading to repentance.

But here is where I will turn on my own faults, because even if I feel like my side is more intellectually in the right, we too fall into a wrong heart and application of truth.

(I promise you, though I will critique myself in less words, that this took far more effort and honesty on my part than stopping short at "well, God led me to you so I could learn to work with different believers and balance my own theology [but not be corrected of any fundamental error].")

If my charge is that you are like an ancient Sadducee, unrealistic in your optimism of this life, irrational with your spirit/body dichotomy, and functionally elitist in your understanding that others lack... then I'm a modern Pharisee-- discouragingly somber in my view of the present day, personally dishonest to the spiritual standard I defend, and arrogant in my own doctrinal superiority.

(I don't say this just because I began this post by criticizing those with a different view; there's no small amount of careful thought and discussion behind all the thoughts of this entry... and my ordering is actually intentional, so that I rebuke my own default position as the final word. Rather, I'm referencing that my thinking was unduly defensive - and my gut instinctively uneasy - toward fellow believers who see differently in this regard, long before this post or the last summer.)

Again, I can put it in far less words, yet no less scathingly. You deny that sin's influence is there, thus allowing it a subtle foothold. I recognize that sin's influence is within me as a real problem... but I far too easily let it seize some corner of my life, excusing this disobedience on the basis that "no one is perfect" and "this way I remember I need Jesus."

You were partly right in calling out my complacency, then. Rather than perpetually writing how I'm more theologically correct about how wrong (sinful) our nature is, I need to partner with you in honoring the Lord's sacrifice with a life of worship and gratitude.

Yet I will add that just as I need you, you too need us. Whether you look at the Bible's words in Hebrew or Greek, there are twin words for repenting-- to feel regret (nacham / metamelomai) or to be separate and changed (shüv / metanoeō). As many Christians have learned in our generation, repentance is more than just feeling bad and saying you're sorry... but then again, the role of godly sorrow is by no means less valuable than action itself.

I know people who felt incredibly frustrated over and over with their hypocritical imperfection, but were no less transformed by the Lord toward spiritual maturity and good works. Perhaps they accelerated in that direction even moreso, due to their unforgettable dependency on Him.

By claiming there is no longer any sin nature within you and that any sinful action is only an aberration of your true identity, you save face before the King. He already paid for it and forgave us, true, yet your stoic self-reminder of this fact without any time for grieving should alarm you, just as my rationalization for its source in my inbetween-state of humanity should never be a place of stagnation.

Instead, you can help by lifting up me and others like me, to actually do something about it. If you let me, I can help you examine our simultaneous condition as saints and sinners before an infinitely big, loving, and able God. Together, we could accomplish a whole lot for His invading kingdom in this world, while also keeping humble hearts which don't burn out, and can serve alongside the myriad of church traditions desperately needing a bridge back into our shared mission and Biblical foundation.

That's what I'm hoping and praying for. We may or may not work together personally on it, but I definitely desire to honor your lessons and our time teaming up together by making this happen more in this universal Church we belong to.

And now I set aside my proverbial pen, to either trade it with putting my hands to the plow or dip into metaphorical ink for some other subject. Actually, as my articulate thoughts taper off and I halfheartedly attempt a conclusion, I feel urgently compelled to craft these ideas into the form of stories, for a seldom-listening world that desperately needs fresh parables.